People to talk to? Aquaintances? Friends????

If you are anyone who actually knows me, you know its hard for me to do the first of those three nevermind moving on to steps 2 and 3. I find myself lately starting to move on to step 2 and even on a couple occasions move to 3. I'm also finding I'm not alone in my artistic integrity. That maybe dressing up a fucking cat into a fucking karate outfit isn't the best thing to be doing, even if we are in a recession! Ok Soap box gone, but really I thought I was sort of alone in my high standards and expectations of what this art form should be and that my settling for now is definitely a for now. I just wanted to share and shout out to Marley, cuz she's working a the John F. Kennedy Center this week in DC and that fucking awesome.

Long DIstance Blues

The distance between us
Measure by the rate of speed
Divided by time
Equals too much math for my heart
Hours on the phone
Reoccurring fights that never end
I am tired of seeing your face
Not being able to touch it
Not being able to kiss it
Not being able to feel your warm breath
Intertwine with mine
As we lay holding each other in bed
The way your hand fits in mine perfectly
The peach scent of your body
And the intoxicating taste of your lips
Make me dizzy and drunk off you
Every fiber in my being
Feels the pull and tug
The line connecting my heart to yours
Four states
Eight hundred miles
Long distance is a curse word
A state of mind I can't escape
The ghost of your presence
Lingers in my sheets
I reach out for empty space
My arm curling around
Air that resembles you
I am sleepless in your imaginary arms
Thanking god for the Apple company
Putting cameras in computers
The pixelated, flat version of you
Does not compare
To the softness of your skin
The voluptuous curves of your body
I want an end to this torment
This limitless cage on my heart
I hate this, I love you
I hate this, I love you
I love you, I love you
I hate this...

Sharing is Caring

This is a shot of the Santa Fe Opera where I worked this summer. This what I looked at every day walking into work. How could you not fall in love? The more research and time and effort I'm investing into this having a "goal" thing, the more I remember how good of a place it is to work. Take away the amazing artists you work with and the fun people surrounding you there, just the environment, the magic of being on top of a desert. Perfecting and honing your craft. It's the reason I do this. Not for the money, not for the glory; but for the magic and the art. Santa Fe Opera reminded me of that.

Goals?

So here's a new thing for me. Career Goals. I want to work wardrobe in opera. More specifically a Wardrobe Supervisor. More specifically, in Santa Fe and Chicago. I've finally sorted through my emotions and thoughts from my summer experience and have decided that career wise, this is what I want to go for. Those of you reading may know me as someone who never really has had goals beyond living and loving. Having fun and surrounding myself with good people are also up there. So far I've achieved all those goals and I think it's time for me to put my big boy pants on and go out into this world and....idk do my thing. I know this wont be easy. There's unions, degrees, and a million other things standing in my way and even if I just get to work in this field in these places then fine, so be it. I'm not scared of this anymore, I'm not afraid to fall. I have friends, family, and a woman who loves me who will help me and stand by me.